It's quite possible the old iPod knows what time of year it is, and senses the holidays are coming before the first gift is purchased. Because the other day, after months of nary a peep from the holiday music category, the selections all of a sudden started popping up.
Admittedly, discussing one's own sizeable selection of holiday music in print is dangerous for any writer who prides themselves on their taste in music. But hey, it was Bob & Doug McKenzie's "The Twelve Days of Christmas," so forgiveness is warranted here.
If you're unfamiliar with the SCTV legends, then take off, you hoser! (Just kidding.) Their version of the 12 days trades French horns for for French toast, turtle doves for turtlenecks, and a partridge in a pear tree for, quite simply and beautifully, a beer!
After listening though, wouldn't it have made more sense to devote all 12 days to a different style of seasonal beer? The answer, we felt, is yes, so we went to the beer gods at Standard Distributing to look through their heavenly warehouse of ales and lagers, and selected our 12 Beers of Christmas.
The 12 beers of Christmas
Affligem Noel Christmas Ale, 9% ABV * Make sure all those lights are hung before you go tapping this one. Hops, starch, sugar and spices make this premium seasonal worth the wait. It'll keep you warmer than the fire.
Anno 1417 Kellerbier, 5.5% ABV * From the brewers at Hacker-Pschorr, one of the oldest breweries in Munich (dating back to 1417), this matte golden ale is the classic unfiltered style: naturally cloudy with a malty nose.
Full Moon Winter Ale, 5.6% ABV * From the popular kids at Blue Moon, their winter ale seasonal. Not as potent as some of the other beers on this list, but approachably malty, just like their other styles.
St. Nikolaus Bock, 8% ABV * Leave this out for the old guy and see what presents you get under the tree. And this malty, dark bock goes well with those chocolate chip cookies Santa will be expecting anyway.
Clipper City Winter Storm, 7.5% ABV * Know someone who likes to feast on the meat and cheese portion of the hors d'oeuvre hour? This is their beer: goes perfect with sharp cheddar and spicy, smoked meats.
Newcastle Brown Ale, 4.7% ABV * From England, not Delaware, this one makes the list because, well, it's my list. And this has always been one of my faves, with its malty and roasty flavor and iconic yellow cap and blue star.
Guinness Stout, 4.3% ABV * Speaking of icons, the Guinness is one of the best-selling ales in the world, and for good reason. It's the lightest on our list, despite its color.
Holy Sheet Uber Abbey Ale, 9% ABV * Also from the fine folks at Clipper City in Baltimore, this full-bodied burgundy beer has the ability to knock one on their keister. Steady now.
Lord Chesterfield Ale, 4% ABV * Yuengling's lighter, zestier ale, golden in color and less hoppy than the traditional lager. This is for the light beer drinker who's looking for a change.
Smithwick's Irish Ale, 4.5% ABV * "Smitticks" is the only beer on the list with more of a bitter finish, but tasty nonetheless.
Molson Export Ale, 4.9% * Canadian moonshine at its finest. You'll think you're drinking a light beer, but the 4.9 will get ya. It's like a Christmas miracle!
Paulaner Salvatore, 7.9% * A fine double bock with a 360-year-old recipe that will make you feel like new after one or two.
